feeling:Sian

Sighs.. If only i can just go online at anytime i like.. Sometimes I'm just so sian.. Sighs.. I slept through the afternoon today... Cuz i knew if i stayed awake and watch HSDS one more time (selected scenes) Then it would cause me more pain..

I kinda feel alone. Alone in my thoughts, feelings passions.... Everything that other people pursue all seem to gain some extent of attention from their friends.. Nah.. Not me... Sometimes, I psychologically check myself and end up realising I'm trying so hard to attract attention while not wanting to look as though I am attracting attention...

Sometimes, I just feel hurt by the comments people pass... Something i'm good in.. Either they are jealous they cant achieve as much, or they are jealous i'm getting some measure of attention, although someone enjoying it to a small extent.., Like my skill in my instrument... Ever since sec 1.. Ever since i started, I have surpassed everyone i know (besides my mentor, Anneson) in the flute, Being capable of faster, more intriguing scales than them, posessing a better sound quality, alll even compared to my seniors...

Everyone was just jealous. To them, every time I played, I was 'showing off'. Can't stand it. Now, even when I was teaching Lydia, Then I played, Some characters totally punctured my stability by saying 'although you play it very nicely, i don't know how to appreciate'. FINE! you can't play my instrument to MY standard, or even play it at all, then SHUT UP if you don't have other better comments to pass!!

Sometimes, I just wish the world in general took more effort to appreciate things others do or CAN do. I just wish there weren't so much jealousy, where everyone was just fighting for himself or herself to become the belle or shuaige in school... Or to be the next pop star.. Sometimes, these people just stifle me.. I just feel myself left with nowhere to express myself. People just have to learn to be polite, and smile and praise despite the fact that they are not able to appreciate.

Art pieces? I'm not an artist myself. Not someone who appreciates themes in art. But still, I know how to praise when someone has drawn something nice. Music? yeah. I know how to praise a good music piece, or a good passage played by a good musician. But something everyone here has to learn, is to praise sometimes, even if the musician is not so good. Encouragement here. Perhaps what spurred me on while learning the flute is this teacher in charge. Mr Ong Wooi H'sien. I still remember. He saw me with my flute in band practice, and he asked me where was my senior(Anneson). Then he said just as he left, "As I walked up the stairs, I could hear someone playing the flute. Was that you?" "Yes." I replied. "Not bad. I must admit its good playing for someone who has entered for three months."

Why can't people just praise a little more? or even just SHUT UP if they have nothing better to say? If my playing was bad, I don't mind criticism. I take criticism constructively. But if you don't have constructive criticism to give, only destructive criticism, so that you can 'regain' that little bit of lost attention, then SHUT UP. I'm pissed!

Its hard though. Hard for me to swallow humble pie. Hard for me to apologise at times. Hard for me to accept certain things.I don't understand why people these days just care about themselves, while feelings of others are just secondary. Sometimes, I admit I'm like that. I wish it were easier to control my actions sometimes. Sometimes I offend in the process of giving constructive criticism. My pride is hard to control... Sigh.. Keep me in prayer, those who share my faith... I wish so much to change.. Into someone more mature, someone more understanding... Just on the whole someone more pleasant....

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Wednesday, September 29, 2004

[Phy paper...Sian day...]

Feeling:Happy.. tht I can finally come online...

Been a rather boring day... I spent the morning doing my phy prac. paper, and CME paper(some stupid paper that dosen't deserve attention) and the rest of the morning playing soccer.. Went home at noon and calculated the time to go roller blading (with the ulterior intention of intercepting a person on the way home)... My plot failed.. Utterly.. When it rained.. sheeze...

I spent the rest of the afternoon sleeping, after which waking up for a brief moment to go blading...Sigh.. Bored the whole day.. Just disappointed that I had a whole free day to my disposal..... Only to be limited by being unable to go online to play runescape or do something like that..... Germ played me out by going home to sleep (instead of original plan to play badminton... Lol...)....

Sighs.. Started feeling lovesick again.. i would have watched HSDS all over again if not for the fact that i have been doing that for the past two days.. lol... Jus got rather disappointed.. There are four girls (or mebbe more...) after me.. While in total, the girl I like prob will nvr like me at all.. sigh...Nah... I shouldn't be so girl-crazy... Although sometimes I jus wish i jus had a girlfriend...


Sighs.. Boring day..

Wrote On|7:41 PM|

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Monday, September 27, 2004

[YAYX... net up again!!]

Feeling:Euphoric and elated..


My internet's working agian.. at long last!! Have left my blog alone for some time, but I now get to post again....YAYXXXXXX!!!

Well, today was craziness.. Chem prac paper lasted till only nine plus.. After that, I went home, spent an hour watching up selected scenes on HSDS(for the third time, i guess..) and spent the rest of the time sleeping.. I expected to watch the police story 2 with Jeremy(germ) only at four, since the earliest was 2, but he wouldn have finished school yet.. But to my surprise, he rang me up at 1.15 telling me he had been dismissed from sch.. So we ended up catching the 2.00 show...

Great film, tho.. Rather emotional.. I got rather disgusted at the way the 'gangsters' dealt with the police team early in the show.. capturing them, miaming them, then hanging them up.. and when Insp Wing(Jackie Chan) Reached that area, they used their lives to gamble with him.. Cruel.. I was really put off by that..

Rather sad too.. The leader of the bad guys (five of them in total.. i forgot wats the actor's name for joe, the leader of them..) was the son of a police superintendant of another area in HK, then he(the character) was abused by his faterh(the police supt.) in childhood. When he grew up in such a rich family, he joined up with his friends and they went around robbing banks. Not for the cash. For the fun of it. They even awarded points to each other for things like each police officer shot down. Insanity... However, the movie has a rather emotional note.. I would reccommend it to any movie goer.

Anyway, I made up with my dad regarding the internet. I did use a keylogger to try and access the password. Although doing this for a reason (so that i can have access to the net anytime i needed it and not be restricted to the time when my parents are at home) I was wrong in doing it.. It was a sin to do such a thing, and I admit my mistake.. Well, its good that i finally found courage to make it up to my dad.. I guess the father-son relationship is improving.. We used to be more distant in the past..

I also do hope to start full-time revision soon.. I guess i really need to settle a lot of problems in my life. One problem is my relationship with God. I need to get right with God right now. I need to get rid of my pride. Its my biggest downfall. I need to settle so many things.. My room is a warzone littered with papers and books.. It kinda shows the state of my emotions and mind now.. But i do hope i can clear things up soon.. Do keep me in prayer. I covet them...

Wrote On|9:47 PM|

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

[Woohoo..]

Feeling:Average

If only the 'O's could be as easy as the prelims.. the prelim paper for geog and SS were relatively easy.. For Eng, I think i did quite ok too.. Now my worries are almost over.. The rest of the prelims won't be any obstacle after I've taken my Chem.. Hmmm...

Well, the First three months for me are almost secured for me in an average JC.. But i'm still worried for the 'O's... haven't started active study yet. However, I will NOT admit I'm stressed. I won't have entertained the thought and self-pity myself for being stressed.. although I AM burnt out... lol...


Well, got physics and E-math paper tml.. Its an ultimate test of my total endurance and mental stamina.. I'm planning to use them both as revision papers. To learn from them, but only allow myself to skeem through the syllabus. To see how much I can capture. Sighs.. I sacrificed one year for all this. One year for better grades, a better chance into JC, leading into a better chance in the U and thus a better chance to go into teaching. I guess I take after my mother. Perhaps just in the part where she has the passion to teach..

Anyway, one main thing i'm concerned about is..hmm... getting to know some chiobu in JC? hmm... i havent been into a relationship before.. Tempted to do so, cuz there are currently four girls after me (as known to me)... However, they are all not up to my standard.. haha... Hmm.. what makes me think I'm up to the standard of some girl in JC? hmm good qn.. I don't know.. lol... I'm just going girl-crazy.. But my ultimate wish is to go to the same JC as SOMEBODY.. Hmm.. the rest is classified and if i tell u more, i have to silence you... lol.. u know what I'm talking abt rite?

Wrote On|7:32 PM|

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Monday, September 20, 2004

[Ooh.. start of prelims...]

feeling:outta place...

Well, prelims have started.. Man.. lemmie tell u a big secret.. I just started studying for geog test this morning, just barely minutes before taking it... haha.. Well, I just hope to pass.. Can't hope for much with Mdm Ow teaching.

Now I just wish i can Bi Guan Xiu Lian (train in seclusion). It seems that this is the most effective method for me. Now what the teachers are doing do not seem to cater very much to me. Ok, perhaps except for what Ms Chee and Mrs Teo are doing for Eng and Chem...

Today was rather crazy, writing pages and pages for geog, and doing likewise for eng paper 1 which came right after.. And Lydia went in that 'fail la.. write outta point la.. bla bla..' all over again.. when the story she wrote was impeccable.. duh...

Sighs.. Pictures only seem to screw up my blog totally.. I guess i have to remove some of them for now.. haiz...

Wrote On|5:36 AM|

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Sunday, September 19, 2004

[piccies... haha]

feeling: Generally ok

Haiz.. Geog prelims tomorrow..
haven't really studied for it.. Hell, I don't even know what Mdm Ow has been doing for the past year. It seems that every Mdm Ow I meet in my entire life are geog teachers, and each are equally bitchy.. ok.. sorry.. There is ONE Mdm Ow who was my science teacher in Pri Sch... haha.. But still as bitchy...

Well, I just hope that I can fully utilise the remaining six weeks for my 'O's... Its not very far away, and this is the wrong year for me to have burnt out and stuff... I guess i just have to grit my teeth and start working hard...

Mabel was awfully funny the other day.. i asked her what her level in runescape was and she said "90+".. but ended up, she was only about lv 11 and I had to keep defending her from the scorpions as we were fishing in Al Kharid.. haha.. Ironic..

Well, I'm a bit disappointed. In my life, I made two friends whom i thought would be my best friends at two different points of time. However, both are now rather distant from me, but worse still, both have fallen away. Its sad, especially when someone falls away and nobody really cares. In the case of Sherman(one of the two), There's barely anyone else besides me to talk him round. In the case of Sam Goh, however, he had a whole lot of attention(which I strongly believe, especially now, that he has been trying to get). It's sad that people who fall away are my friends. Sadder still that besides me, nobody else cares.

Back to Status watchers. I don't want to believe that our whole church is made up of them. But one characteristic common to them is that they only care about themselves, their own popularity(hence they mix only with the popular who are in other words, rich, handsome, blah blah) and not much about people who don't have many people to talk to. Perhaps its because of these status watchers that these people fall away. Sam Goh fell away partly because besides myself, barely anyone talks to him. However, when he attended an orthodox church, he felt so welcome there. Why must this be so?!?! Why are the unloveable not loved?! Even amongst us Christians, or at least, those of us who call ourselves 'Christians'?


(21/9/04 pic was removed. Anyone know how to post pics on blogs without screwing it up?)

Wrote On|1:04 AM|

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Friday, September 17, 2004

[*yawnz*]

feeling:Tired

Sleepy morning today.. Sleepy saturday morning.. I stayed up till 4 the previous night trying to save my skin.. Well, anyway, mission accomplished, but i woke up only at 10.. i HATE waking up late... sigh...

However, did accomplish things... I managed to clear and sort the growing pile of worksheets and papers and stuff in my bag, crushing and throwing almost half of them.. heehee... At least now I'm more organised and more set to start revising.. I just do hope i start.. Anyway, I watched Gundam Seed.. In this episode, the Tiger(a commander somehting....) died in a battle with kira and the archangel.. It was a pretty touching scene, because someone more shrewd than that would have just fled, but this commander stayed and died... after ordering his troops to retreat... in a sense, he got my respect...

well, prelims on monday.. starting with geog and eng... Haha.. no fears for english.. cant do much about it anyway.. but as for geog... sighs.. I'm planning to do all i can, mebbe getting a pass or 60% at best.. Then I'll have to get like, full marks for SS so that I can ace my combined humanities? Haha... Rather impossible.. I HATE humanities.. and I will NEVER take econs in JC.. NEVER!!!

I guess if I cant rally myself to start studying yet, I'll just have to take the prelims as a revision. Somehow, I find that I revise better if there are tests.. As in, I use the tests to revise.. Hmmm.. Taking homework is definitely not my cup of tea, but I think right now, if I were to be able to choose, curriculum time should be fully used for test after test for me, and time at home should be at my own disposal, where i divide it into two, playing for one half and studing by myself on the other.. I guess exam stress and pressure is just the right type of pressure for me to learn. After all, i learn best from mistakes made in an exam(From my own self-analysis)... However, I am the type who HATES homework. Maybe i should be a teacher. I don't suppose besides marking scripts, a teacher has any homework? Plotting the lesson perhaps?

Wrote On|9:40 PM|

[Yeahx!! Friday!!]

Feeling:Euphoric

Friday is naturally my favourite day.. Best part is.. can go home extra early!!!
However, this friday is even better... I reached home and found out that my dad didn't sign out of the net the night before.. so I had all the liberty I wanted to access.. haha...

Today was also rahter puzzling.. A spotcheck was done on our class, and as soon as I realised what was happening, i tried to hide my PALM.. However, Ms Tan spotted me, but surprisingly, besides saying "Clement What are you doing?" She did not do much more.. Then as Mr Chew and Mdm Wong came around, I decided to surrender it, upon seeing Desmond and the rest surrender theirs.. The funny thing that happened was, Mr Chew picked up my PALM(on the desk) And said, "What's this?.. (pause) Oh.. its a palm.." then he put it down, back on my table.. surprisingly, it didn't get confiscated.. After this ordeal, i was rather shocked.. but I have decided, no matter how useful the palm is as a learning tool, I think safest is only to bring it on selected days..

Well, prelims are just around the corner.. and I still am not even in studying mode... I just wish I were more focused... Yeah, Des was right. Abstainence is the only way to cut down... However, to abstain is in itself, very hard to do...

I guess I really need the Lord to hold me together.. These days are really difficult.. I really need to renew my want to study.. O lvls are only 46 away.. Scary... sigh... Do keep me in your prayers...

Wrote On|1:05 AM|

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Thursday, September 16, 2004

[haha.. cleared time up]

Feeling: Average

Haha.. cleared the time marking up... Now it won't show wierd timings for when i posted the blog...

Was playing around with macros and had a hard time programming them.. Still can't get them to automate mining in runescape.. but what the heck

I do hope to start revision today.. sigh.. only 47 days left.. not much time, and I'm still not in 'revision' mode.. sigh...

Math class totally rocks! (because I can really sleep.. haaaha!!) Its just so boring and what my math teacher does during math class totally does not do me any good.. sighs...

Just going to TRY to start revision(Heck my monitor.. its going crazy.. can't see clearly... dun feel like saying anymore.. haha)

Wrote On|5:43 PM|

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Wednesday, September 15, 2004

[sheeze... Wasting time...]

feeling:average

Sheesh.. i'm beginning to feel that staying home and studying is ultimately more effective. I'm practically wasting time sitting through math lessons. Ms tan will just go through the papers. effective? Yeah. for some. perhaps the slightly weaker ones. But for ppl like me who can manage, self study is the best help.

Having grown to this stage, i have found that its harder to accept information from a teacher who is just feeding it in. I have discovered that for myself, I need to do my own analysing, my own thinking before I actually grasp it. True, I'm Audial-visual, but I guess maybe its just ms tan.. who just cannot teach without going the rote method... Her style of teaching is so route, so much so that I just cannot absorb any more than the surface pertaining to the topic... I HATE ms tan...

Well, I just hope God will hold me together and help me stand up again.. i need that strength from him.. Do keep me in prayer, those who are Christian...

Wrote On|1:31 AM|

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Tuesday, September 14, 2004

[OOH! I HATE ms tan!!!!]

Feeling:Crapped out, yet rather tickled...
Playing:Runescape

Today I got rather crapped out because Ms tan gave back our math paper. Hell, it had 8 questions and we only had an hour to do.. Seriously short of half an hour.. I did badly, of course, and was very crapped out because she kept calling out my name to expose my careless mistakes and embarrass me. CRap!!!

Anyway, the funny part was that we(the guys sitting behind) were talking about wuxia novels, about Zhang Wuji, about Guo Jing, Huang rong.. blah blah.. Then i just happened to think about a show revolving around the (fictional) wugong-xiang long shi ba zhang.. It was a skill that belonged to the beggar's sect in the wuxia fantasy world. Then I was talking about this show i watched where this guy was learning it to defeat an evil person who was trying to usurp the throne, but somehow, the 18th(and final) stroke was missing.. THe story goes on where he went into the fight knowing only up till the 17th stroke, then as he was defeated in the first round, the manual dropped on the ground. As the wind blew the pages, he realised that the 18th stroke was the combination of all the previous 17 strokes.. So I was talking happily about it to Isaac and JunJie when I reached the 17th stroke part..I was talking, talking, then I just said 17th stroke(shi qi zhang...) Then a shout came from the front,"CLEMENT!" haha! that was my math teacher.. Then my frens say, "haha.. lian le shi qi zhang zou huo ru mo le...." It was rather ticklish.. Maybe not as ticklish as I can portray it now in proper english, but if you can, perhaps i'll tell you in person one day.. it was soooo damn funny.. haha....

Well, exactly 7 weeks from the "O"s... gotta study hard.. haha.. back to my work now..

Wrote On|2:00 AM|

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Monday, September 13, 2004

[No more homework!!! Pleeeeeeaseeeeee!!!!]

Feeling:Irritable, Unhappy.

My math teacher is just relentless, giving homework after homework.. ok.. thats not wat i am unhappy with. The part I'm unhappy with is that she gives so much that i barely have any time for my other subjects!!..

My math teacher has conveniently made two assumptions:
1)math is the only subject that is taken into account for GCE "O"-Levels and therefore getting an a1 for it is imperative and even if you have an a1, you should try for higher despite the fact that your other subjects are flogging.

2)Math homework should be given in excess, even in the expense of the student's sleep time, because its good for the student.

(what a joke....)

I totally abhor her because every single bit she's doing as revision for me(besides giving practice papers) will not be effective. Besides, I've got a pile of my own practice papers... As for the rest? No thank you...

Thank God, though, for a good week of rest. I must admit I did squander the time playing, but I think thats what I needed. Yep. I do hope that God will hold me together for the remaining 50 days. Yep, another 50 days to the "O"-Levels... I wish i can just add another 30 days to that.. Then i can have more time to complete a fuller revision. I guess I'll just have to make do. Thank God though, that I managed to recover from my burnout. It was very minor at the start of this year, but as the year progressed, it became worse. Still, thank God for it.

Oh yeah, to all those out there taking prelims now (esp to my frens from BPGH.. I noe your prelims are on now).. Jia you!! Mine is next week though.. a little more relaxed.. and just enough time for me to get onto my feet.

Wrote On|9:30 AM|

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Sunday, September 12, 2004

[Lost my bearings...]

Feeling: down, unhappy, irritable.
Listening to: cleft of dimension(the song playing on this page)

Today is sunday.. the Lord's day.. The worst part is that there isn't BS, so i wasn't inclined to wake up early just to go first service and so that i can go for the BS after that... I just hate waking up late!! The worst part is that in second service, the younger ppl who attend normally are people who sleep through messages.. The sight of them not concentrating or listening to the message makes my thoughts wander too.. Not their fault, but after I started attending first service, second service seems just such a pain to me..

I ask myself, am I doing the best I can? My friend Sherman shocked me totally when he finally became honest. He started talking in a humanistic way, like someone influenced by humanism.. The way he talked was as though he had discarded the Christian truths our school (Pei Hwa Presbyterian Primary) had implanted in us since young. I suppose this is one of the frightening effects of not having godly families, of not going to church regularly, of not doing regular QT. But being his good friend, it totally pained me to see how much we had distanced, but much more, seeing him walking on the broad way. "Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be to find it." Matt 7:13

On the whole, its only 51 days left till the 'O' levels. And I haven't begun a serious revision yet. I've started counting down since 70 days. But I've apparently wasted 20 days. plus the holidays. I've totally lost my bearings and burnt out.. Its a dangerous time for this to happen, and this couldn't have happened at a worse time. I need God. I need to get right first with God. Yet I need to start an intensive revision immediately. Too much. too much in such a short time. I sometimes wish I just have another month added to the 50 days. I sometimes wish I just didn't wait this one year. Maybe i just wish I have a good friend, or even a girlfriend to help me up in such a time.. Nah.. Won't come true.

It disappoints me that sometimes, even in church... Especially in church(rarely happens in school) we have people who are status watchers. They only talk to or mix with people who come from rich backgrounds, who have influential parents, who are chio/handsome, who come from good schools... Sometimes that disappoints me.. that even Christians fail to display brotherly love. That many a fallen and downed brother are left fallen, broken, so much so that some even leave the faith. Christian love should be in every way unconditional, and should be displayed to the fullest even regardless of whether the person is loveable or not. Especially when the person is not loveable.

Perhaps only I am going around, talking to the people who do not have anyone to talk to.. But thats because I myself, have no one to talk to..I seek friendship, but sometimes, its either I can't be enough of a friend to someone, or that someone can't be enough of a friend to me..I seek relationship, but sometimes I wonder if it is really so as to replace that friendship...

Someday, if I become rich, I'll make sure I give extra attention to those who are not loved. I'll make sure I ignore the popularity those status watchers give me. My heart goes out to those who are, like me, not loveable, and who are thus ignored by most people, especially status watchers. I HATE status watchers. They just make the unloved feel even more unloved and lonely.

Wrote On|6:20 AM|

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Friday, September 10, 2004

[Cleaned up the glitches]

Mood:Happy on the whole
Listening to:Cleft of Dimension(The music thats playing on the blog)

Well, i spent an hour or so cleaning up the glitches on the blog, and I'm quite happy the blog is ready to be declared open.. haha...

Well, if there is anything on my blog that you don't like or is an error, do tell me in the comments below.. constructive criticism is welcome, destructive criticism is not. I'm sure you won't want such on your own blog right? so do unto others what you want others to do unto u... :)

Well, back to today.. I just watched Gundam Seed (ep 20) on Central.. Its such a pain waiting for each saturday JUST to watch half an hour (one episode)... not to mention there are 50 episodes.. Thankfully HSDS is 4 hours a weekend.. However, you still have to wait 5 days for it.. Painful wait so I just got the DVD.. haha...

I started Liking Gundam seed after watching episode 7 quite by accident. It just links to my childhood dream of being a pilot.. I have dreamt of piloting since young. Combat piloting. However, I'm wearing glasses, so what the heck.. Hopefully I still can do some Lasik, or have a Cornea Implant to correct my eyesight and I can still stand a chance to be a pilot. Somehow, Gundam seed reminded me of that dream.. Just that their counterpart for the F-16s, F-22s or whatnot are Gundams... haha..

Today is YF quiz, and I still havent memorised all the memory verses.. Sighs.. I do hope the rest actually do their work.. Cuz I'm probably going to know only 50% of the stuff.. Sighs.. feeling guilty..

Well, Germ is right. Love life stinks when you are still a juvenile.. I guess I'm just going to avoid love life all the way. Although I have liked one single person for three years or so. I guess there are more things in life to pursue, and I should leave the finding of a life partner to God. Besides, now is definitely too early, whether to find one, to understand the essence of true love, or to even understand the elements involved in a Christian or Christ-headed relationship.. Where in the relationship, Christ is head, and still is when the relationship develops into a home. To find a god-fearing girl who suits me is a really hard feat. I guess I'll just leave it to God...

Wrote On|9:58 PM|

[YAYx... Done 90% of my blog!!]

Mood:Estatic

Yayx.. done up mosta my blog.. but not without lotsa help from my best fren Germ(Jeremy..).. Yeah.. wanna see his blog? its *boom* wow.. nice.. i copied some things from his blog's source code (oops..)though.. But i really am thankful for his help in helping me set up the music of the site... yeah? isn that what you are hearing? Yeah!!.. that's fragments of dreams, from the game "chrono cross"...

I also added a few links, like the blogs of some of u guys.. hey, if you want me to add your blog into my links, do tell me, either thro e-mail or by commenting below (u see at the end of this entry? there's a "...(number) comments" there.. click it and you can add comments.. oh yes, for those who's blogs are on my links, and you don't want them there? yeah.. do the same and I will gladly remove it :)

Wrote On|8:20 AM|

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Thursday, September 09, 2004

[my FIRST entry!!... haha!!]

Heyoz... this is my first entry.. thanks to Germ who helped me find a feasible skin.. Well, i havent had much time to work on the blog yet.. but I'll probably improve it as time goes by...

Well, been rather lurvsick recently.. cuz i watched HSDS(heavenly sword and dragon sabre or yi tian tu long ji) and its one of my fav out of Jing Yong's works (he writes pretty good wuxia novels, and adds very good love stories in the plots..)

Well, that was not all.. Alyssa chia took the role of Zhao Min (the person who seemed to be the antagonist at first, but ends up being with Zhang Wuji.. ).. she played the role of zhao min impeccably, but most of all, what makes her the most loveable zhao min out of the four (or so) adaptations made from the book is that she's sooooo cuuuuuuuuttteeee..... (i shan't associate myself with girls by adding that word to my dictionary..)

Well, she kinda made me think of *her*... well.. i guess u all know what i'm talking about.. at times i dream where the two of *us*(me n the girl of my dreams) can embrace, can be together.. but through all this 'lurvsickness', i have realised that God has a higher plan and purpose, and that i should trust in God and his Predestinative will to decide the girl of my future... At times i lose bearings and just go desperate, wishing for a girlfriend, but i call all those out there suffering from the same thing as I am, don't give up hope... Leave everything to God in prayer!

WEll, i guess i can go on and babble on about my experience, and this new insight i have gained thro this trial(thanks to the ppl who stood by me, Lionel, Zuyi, Des...).. but i dun suppose anyone would appreciate.. would they?

p.s. see pic.. Alyssa's so cute, dun u think? I saw her galleries, some pics revealing so much skin.. but I think she looks so much better fully clothed.. like this.. heee..

Wrote On|9:22 AM|

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