Feeling:over the moon...

Well, I got my [Xpr] tag officially.. and I'm now an XPR member.. whee... That means that the reserve slots in the XPR server are accessible to me... No mroe getting kicked... lol..

Sigh.. Sadly, i have badly neglected my QT.. I hope to do my QT again tonight.. I had come home, played for awhile, studied for a solid hour (never happened in the past year and a half..) and then ate dinner and am back on the com,... Well, I do hope this is a start.. I hope to increase my study time to 1.5 hours.. I have only 19 days left. Man.. Thats a lot.. i have to finish the chem papers within 3 days and ask Mrs Teo for more.. I just pray for more discipline to do that.. haha..

Well, I upon reflection, i feel rather hypocritical.. With my mouth, i proclaim the name of my Lord. I lift my praises and supplication to Him.. Sad thing is, with that same mouth, I gossip, i swear, I curse... I call myself a Christian.. But I struggle so hard to do my QT... Well, I do hope this is a sign of the christian struggle being evident in my life. One who is a Christian but does not struggle is probably an apostate.. Thats a very fearful thought.. Man, infidel, at the hands of an angry God.. What terrifying things this angry, although merciful God will do to this man who wilfully sins... The thought that God will leave me and let me drop to my death like the mother eagle its eaglet after it fails to fly really makes me shudder... The thought that God will one day give up on me is really scary. yes, God has boundless mercy, but did you know that this mercy sometimes has a limit? Like Pharoah, who refused to let the Israelites go... The Bible says at first that 'pharoah hardened his heart'... and it keeps saying it each time Moses approached him.. However, later on, it says 'God hardened pharoah's heart'.. which signified God giving up on him. Scary...

Anyway, I have thought of it.. I'm probably going to JJC, with my sch frens, also because Sherman is there.... I dun think i wanna go PJC(cuz i'm afraid of meeting the same kind of idiots that we have living around CCK...) or Innova(hmm.. someone's going there, along with mosta the class and frens.) Well, the rest is classified... lol...